Bringing the Man into Romance

Growing up, I never quite got the hype around romance novels, rom-coms,
or those Hallmark movies with the cheesy music and even cheesier plots.
As I got older, I still don’t really understand it—but I’d be a fool to ignore
how the readership and viewership numbers just keep climbing.
I’ve always been fascinated by psychology and the human mind. I still
remember my freshman year at Appalachian State, sitting in a class called
“Marriage and Family Relations.” At eighteen, I rolled my eyes at the title—
Marriage felt completely irrelevant. I was far more interested in shorter-
term relations with women, if you catch my drift. Still, I secretly looked
forward to the class. (I never told my football teammates. Being the
punter/kicker was already suspicious enough.) I aced it without much
effort—not because I already knew the material, but because studying it
felt more therapeutic than obligatory.

Later in life, I developed a genuine interest in male-female dynamics. Most
guys seem to discover this topic the hard way—after a brutal breakup,
desperate for answers. I just got curious. Specifically, I wanted to
understand how a man can maintain frame inside a committed relationship
or marriage. A lot of the content out there for men focuses on pickup
artistry: smooth lines, openers, how to dress, etc.
Those things never really interested me much. I didn’t need them to attract
women—playing college and pro football took care of that part. So I kept
reading, comparing what the “experts” said to my own experiences, noting
where it lined up and where it didn’t.
I always knew I wanted to write a book on this stuff—or at least that I had
one inside me if I ever sat down to do it. But I didn’t want to write another
dry, academic, clinical take like so many of the male-authored books in
this space. Those books have their place and a loyal (mostly male)
audience.
The problem? Women dominate book buying and book recommending.
And what are they mostly reading? The very romance novels I’d
dismissed. So, like any good procrastinator, I decided to see what the fuss
was about. (To be honest, I listened to them on Audible.) I wish I could say
it was a sudden revelation, but after finishing some of the biggest titles in
the genre, I still didn’t get the hype.

One thing did bug me, though: how the male characters are written. As a
guy, I like to think I’m pretty fluent in how men actually think, act, and
operate. A lot of these “heroes” felt like women wearing Navy SEAL-
billionaire costumes. I thought, at the very least, I could bring a real male
point of view to these characters.
Most readers and authors in this genre are women, so it makes
sense that the men are written that way. I have no idea whether female
readers will embrace a dude’s perspective in romance, and I’m pretty sure
men aren’t suddenly going to flood the category just because a guy wrote
it. But I’m passionate about it, and damn, I enjoy the hell out of writing
these stories.
My first attempt, Houseguest, started with a single scene that popped into
my head: a guy in the shower, sensing the eyes of a younger, hotter female
houseguest peeking through the door. Every guy has had some version of
that fantasy at one point—the classic “Oh, hey, Mr. Man, I didn’t know you
were in here… mind if I join?” trope.
From there, the words just poured out. Before I knew it, tens of thousands
of them were stacking up in my document. I thought, Sh-t, I might actually
be onto something. I shared early chapters with a few women I knew who
read this stuff. The response was overwhelming: “Send more—I need to
know what happens next!” (Usually after they picked their jaws up off the
floor upon learning I’d written a book at all.) I won’t lie—that felt damn good.
Over the next few months, I finished Houseguest, then wrote two more
novels—each longer than the last. I’m still amazed at how fun this is to
write, and how fiercely loyal and protective romance readers are of their
niche. My goal is simple: keep letting the creativity flow and bring an
authentic male perspective into a female-dominated space—the
wonderfully messy, winding world of relationships. To me, it’s too
important for the other side to stay silent.
Happy reading!